The Lion, the Witch, the Wardrobe, and the Lucky Socks
by swordsman8
Summary: A boy's lucky socks are taken to Narnia, and he must go on a quest to find them.
1. The Quest Begins

It was a Monday. It was 6:30, time to get up for school. I groaned as my alarm clock screeched at me. I threw it out the window and started to get dressed.

After I was dressed, I remembered that I needed to get my lucky socks. I always wore my lucky socks on schooldays, because before I started wearing them this year, bad things happened. People apparently thought it was funny to beat me up. I got my lucky socks in the summer and started wearing them. Then, this year, they left me alone. My lucky socks also allowed me to grow eight inches last summer, making me taller than everyone else. I thought that being so tall was pretty cool!

Enough of a backstory, though. I needed to find them. I went to my giant wardrobe, which I had so callously thrown them into last night. I looked inside, but I didn't see them. I tore through the piles of clothes. Nothing. I moved through the thick jungle of clothes and coats to the back of the wardrobe. Once I reached the back, though, I made an astounding discovery. There was no wood at the back. There was only a warm, sunny landscape.

Then, I saw footprints in the mud (It must have just rained) heading in the direction of the wardrobe, then making a trail back into the strange world.

"Come on!" screamed my mother.

"Screw off!" I screamed, stepping into the strange and mysterious world.

I followed the prints to a small shack. For the first time, since I'm very stupid, I noticed that the prints were hoof prints, not footprints. Looking in the window, I saw an obviously drunk satyr singing and doing the worm. I put on my battle gear, kicked down the door, and charged into the room.

"Everybody down! FBI!" I screamed.

The confused satyr looked at me and said, with a slurred voice, "What? What's the FBI?"

"Down on the ground!" I screamed.

"Who are the FBI?" he inquired, now on the ground.

"The police! Where are the socks!" I shouted.

Suddenly, he looked very frightened.

"I don't know about any socks…."

"Yes, you do! Where are they?"

He opened his mouth, about to say something. Unfortunately, Rebecca Black's _Friday_ came on his radio, forcing us to cower under furniture.

Once the song ended, though, I asked him the question again.

"Where are they! If you don't tell me within the next five seconds, I can guarantee you some hard time in prison!"

"Okay, okay! I gave them to the Green Witch! She's such a bitch! She forced me to get them for her! She thought they looked pretty!"

I looked at him and said, "I'm sorry I frightened you. I'm not really a police officer. I'm just the owner of the socks. They mean a lot to me."

"Oh," he said, looking relieved. "I'm Mr. Tumnus. I'm sorry for taking the socks. The Green Witch forced me to. She is a very evil woman, but she rules our land, and if I had said no, I would have been turned to stone!"

"You sure you're not talking about Medusa?" I asked.

"Well, it is kind of a rip-off. But she's so cruel. Ever since she came into power, it's always been summer," he said, looking ready to cry.

"That's horrible! You need to tell me where she is. I can put a stop to this."

"But she'll kill me!"

"She won't find out, and if she does, I'll stop her before she can do anything about it."

"Well…okay. Come outside."

We went outside, but all I saw were trees and a giant green castle.

"Which direction?" I asked.

"In the direction of the giant castle," he said, looking confused. "I'm drunk, and it's still obvious to me."

"Right," I said, beginning my journey to the castle.


	2. A Brush with the Secret Police

After a bit of walking, I randomly shot a tree a bunch of times and continued. After walking a bit more, I decided to take a rest. I perched on a giant rock and went to sleep.

Once I woke up, I saw a pack of wolves growling at me.

"We are members of the secret police," one said. "The Green Witch sent us here. You are a stranger to Narnia. Why are you here and why did you pretend to be a police officer?"

"How could you know I pretended to be a police officer?"

"Because we're psychopathic stalkers," another said.

"Ah. Ok."

I suddenly had a great idea. I tried to lift the giant rock I was on that had to weigh at least 1,000 pounds and throw it at them, but to no avail. I suddenly had another great idea. I picked up a stick.

"Doggies want to play?"

The wolves started panting and wagging their tails.

"Fetch!" I said, throwing the stick off a cliff.

They all ran after it, running off the cliff. I went over to it and looked down at them as they fell down hundreds of feet.

"You may have tricked us, but we'll be back!" One said as they all hit the ground and exploded, gushing blood everywhere.

Of course, I was still afraid, since one said they would be back. I hurried away.


End file.
